Last night I walked past a car with a bumper sticker that read "Corsica Ferries" and it caught me by surprise. I had to remind myself that I am quite far from home and temporarily living in a different country. Most days here, I feel I am already home.
I was worried about being lonely. I remember how terrifying it was being lonely when I traveled in 2003. I remember what felt like hours crammed into tiny, smelly phone booths trying to phone Chris or my parents. I remember tears of frustration at Internet cafes trying to compose my thoughts with foreign keyboards. I remember days when I didn't want to get out of my hostel sleeping bag.
I am not lonely in Paris. Of course I miss Chris and many other things about Victoria but it's not the same as being lonely. Lonely feels desperate and all-consuming. Somebody asked me yesterday why I got married if my independence was so important. I explained I got married because I met the person who valued my independence and didn't see it as a threat. Chris' confidence in me and our mutual respect are some of the reasons I am in Paris and they have a lot to do with why I am not lonely. Marriage doesn't have to mean the loss of your independence.
It's a privilege to know Paris so well. It's a privilege to be happy here and to feel productive and inspired. There is always something new and beautiful in Paris and every day I find another reason to fall in love.
I spent most of the cloudy day tucked up in the apartment writing. I have over 9,000 words of a draft that is coming out in all directions. My first week here I worked on an outline for my "Paris chick-lit novel" but after a few frustrating days, I realized my book is somewhere in my blog. Maybe my second book will be my chick-lit masterpiece!
Off to take a walk and hopefully see the Chanel No. 5 exhibit at Palais de Tokyo.
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| Sneak peek! I went to the Chanel No. 5 exhibit at Palais de Tokyo. This is the view looking down to the entrance. Don't you love the Chanel No. 5 poster with the Eiffel Tower in the background?! J'adore! |
I walked past a school this afternoon as it was letting out for the day. I noticed that many of the primary age girls were carrying Sonia Rykiel inspired striped backpacks. And then I saw a girl of about 10 wearing cropped red jeans, Bensimmon sneakers, a striped t-shirt and a tweed blazer with the sleeves rolled up. The blazer was a deliberate choice. It wasn't like someone forced her to wear it or it was part of her uniform. It didn't match at all but it looked amazing in that impossible to imitate Parisian chic way. You know you are in Paris when you want to dress like a 10 year old girl.
I love my fellow Canadians but...
Two strolled past me wearing matching blue travel pants that zip-off at the knee. They had on Tilley hats and sturdy, industrial strength sandals with wooly toes poking out the ends. I could tell they were Canadians because amongst all of the accoutrements - hand sanitzier, miniature water bottle, emergency whistle, etc.- hanging off their shared, bulging fanny pack was a clip-on plastic Canadian flag. I am all for being comfortable and prepared but there is no need to dress for Paris like you taking a raft up the Amazon River. There are other options, a middle ground, like those jeans that feel like pajamas - PajamaJeans
Rue Cler random...
A silver Ferrari creeping its way up the cobblestones with its engine rumbling low. Rue Cler is mostly a pedestrian street except for crazy cyclists and delivery trucks.
This post meant a lot to me because one of the things I fear about being in Paris by myself is feeling lonely.
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